Past Transgressions
by Leprechaun's Fairy
Summary: Instead of disbanding after The Age of Ultron, the Avengers gather together in the new Avengers Tower, only to have the unlikeliest of things happen. James "Bucky" Barnes turns himself in. What does he want with the Avengers? And what does Natasha's past have to do with it?


**Author's Note: I do not own The Avengers in any way, shape, or form. I am also freely admitting that I don't know all the comic book backstories and what not of the characters so this is based on what I've seen through the movies combined with my strange fantasies of what could be. If something doesn't match up with the real stories then...well I hope you can still enjoy this for what it is. Happy reading!**

* * *

"Update," Fury commanded from the video screen.

Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "He's more like his usual self than before," he said then glared at Natasha when she snorted in derision. "But he is very antagonistic."

"Did he get you to use more foul language?" Tony asked as though he didn't already know the answer. Cameras had been trained on James "Bucky" Barnes ever since he'd willingly turned himself in three weeks earlier. Not even Steve was allowed to speak to him without the conversation being monitored. Not that the Avengers wanted to take away all of Barnes's privacy, no they just wanted to know if and when the Winter Soldier side of his personality was about to re-emerge.

"Stop being an asshole Tony," Natasha said before Steve could get all offended. Well he was clearly already offended but at least she'd interrupted before he said something to make it worse.

Thor chuckled from over in the corner. "I do not believe Tony Stark could do such a thing!"

The rest of the crew smirked and Tony sighed as he pulled out his soft leather chair. The one that none of them were allowed to touch without risking a painful death. "You guys take the fun out of everything."

With the crisis averted they all turned back to the video screen where Fury was shaking his head at their antics.

"What should we do now Director Fury?" Steve asked.

"Have you asked Barnes that question?"

Banner shook his head. "We've been too busy poking at his brain, checking his responses," he admitted. He and Tony were fascinated that Barnes had seemingly broken into all of his trapped memories on his own, no surgery required, yet he was having trouble recovering his personality.

And Natasha had to admit that she was curious as well. If she didn't have to be poked or prodded with knives or lasers would she want her forgotten memories back too?

"Maybe you should just ask him why he ended up on your doorstep instead of treating him like a psychological experiment," Fury suggested. "Report back after you do."

Fury signed off and Steve turned to face everyone else, hands on his hips and in full Captain mode. "We do this now. Are we in agreement?"

Everyone nodded and Tony fiddled with the controls until he could broadcast into the holding cell Barnes had been placed in. The rooms were actually pretty decent with a bed and bathroom, TV and bookshelves. Only the walls were made of a Stark Industries creation that was neigh on indestructible. Oh and there was also a chair that could magnetically immobilize Barnes if he sat in it.

Steve took a deep breath. "Bucky, can you hear me?"

The dark haired man looked up at one of the cameras and nodded. He didn't grin. He never grinned. And he hardly ever spoke, not even to Steve.

"Is there anything we can get you? Anyone you'd like to speak to that you haven't yet?"

A flash of some emotion crossed Barnes's face but only for a quick second. "Natalia. Natalia Romanova. Is she there?"

Natasha sat up straight, a chill racing up her spine. No one called her Natalia. Not anymore. "Yes, I'm here."

"We have some catching up to do."

The fact that everyone turned to stare at her in surprise didn't faze her, not one little bit.

What finally got to her was when Clint, voice soft so Barnes wouldn't hear it through the speakers, finally spoke up. "He just smiled at the camera."

Steve looked at Natasha and waited for confirmation before speaking to Barnes again. "Nat will be there in just a few minutes."

The Captain walked her down the hall to the room and slipped in first. Natasha could see through the little glass pane in the door as he forced Barnes to set in the magnetic chair before he activated it. The pull was so strong that there was no way Barnes could free his metal arm from the contraption even with his considerable strength.

Natasha glared at the door not because she was mad at Bucky but because she was pissed at Steve Rogers. Good old Captain America.

"You didn't have to do that," she said the second he stepped out the door, leaving it slightly ajar behind him.

Steve looked over his shoulder then spoke low. "We don't know what he wants with you. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if he hurt you again."

She nodded in understanding. Barnes had shot her twice already, once because she'd been helping Steve. "Just let me push him into the magnetic chair next time, okay?" she teased as she stepped around him and into the cell.

Barnes looked up at her through his long dark hair. "Do you remember me yet, Natalia?"

Instead of taking the seat across from him (the magnetic chair had a table in front of it with a chair on the far side) Natasha chose to stand behind it instead of sitting down. "You tried to kill Steve less than a year ago and I was there. Of course I remember."

Barnes shook his head. "Before that."

Natasha didn't say a word, she just glared down at the captive. She wasn't about to admit exactly how much of her life she didn't remember.

But he seemed to understand what her silence meant anyways and he looked at her in what appeared to be disappointment. (She'd have to ask Steve to decipher the facial expressions later. He knew Barnes best and was surely watching the conversation unfold with the others.)

"How is it you seem to remember everything?" Natasha finally asked.

Barnes shrugged as much as the chair allowed. "I had a run in with another red head and she messed with my head. When I realized how much she'd shaken loose I promised to turn myself in if she did it some more."

"Wanda," Natasha quickly realized.

Barnes nodded. "I'm curious though. I know she's been recruited by you so why haven't you had her help you with your memories? You had to have realized that she could."

"Maybe I don't want to remember," Natasha shot back and then froze. She hadn't meant to say that out loud. Why had she said that out loud?

Barnes smiled, an expression more cocky than happy. "Is it worse to know all the horrible things you've done or worse to be the only one in the room who doesn't know what you've done?"

Natasha crossed her arms over her chest and glared even harder. "So you know something about me that I don't?"

"I know things you still remember but didn't even tell SHIELD. I know personal details about you that you don't remember me finding out. Because I know you Natalia Alianovna Romanova. I've known you for years."

Natasha uncrossed her arms and slammed her hands on the back of the sturdy wooden chair (no cheap flimsy chairs in Avengers Tower, not even in the rooms of prisoners.) "Then prove that you know me," she growled.

"This seems really personal. Should we be watching this?" Banner asked even though he couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen. As a scientist he found their talk on memory, and Wanda's involvement, fascinating. He made a mental note to get in touch with the Scarlet Witch when he got the chance.

Meanwhile, the other scientist in the room was microwaving popcorn. "You can stop watching but I'm certainly not!" Tony said as he cheerfully offered people drinks.

Steve glared at Tony before turning to Banner. "As invasive as this is I think we have to watch them. I don't trust him. Not yet."

"I would like some popped corn!" Thor boomed. "This is more entertaining than watching Sif battle a Funarkian!"

Clint leaned forward and stared at the screen, concern growing for his friend with every minute.

"Here's one thing you know the truth about but always lie about when asked," Barnes began. "The bullet wound scar on your left shoulder. The first one, the oldest one. Not the one I gave you."

"That was from my first solo Widow assignment when I was fifteen. SHIELD already knows and so could anyone who has accessed my file."

"It was a test in the Red Room," Barnes said, completely ignoring her claim. "They wanted to see which of the trainees could take a hit without making a sound. You were the only one who succeeded. You were nine years old."

The chair rung Natasha was holding creaked under the pressure of her fingers. "Everyone who knows about that is dead except for me," she whispered. "So how the hell do you know?"

Barnes's eyes darkened. "You told me but you don't remember that you did. That's what I've been trying to tell you."

Natasha grit her teeth and tried to rein in her thoughts. She did not get flustered and yet James Buchanan Barnes was throwing off her game. "I'm sure HYDRA just found and gave you some file SHIELD couldn't get their hands on."

"Here's this then. Most things you've forgotten are little things. Names, days, maybe a week or two of memories at a time. Then there's a year or so when you were twenty. All of that is missing."

That he knew that barely fazed her after his other revelation. How and why he knew it was bugging the crap out of her. "Did I tell you this too?"

Barnes shook his head. "You didn't have to tell me. I was there."

"Do the Winter Soldier files say anything about what Barnes was doing when Nat was that age?" Clint asked.

Steve was already scanning the files he'd read a dozen times. "Not that I recall but I'm checking. And she's looked these over before too so…"

The rest of the Avengers assembled in the room watched Cap flip through the pages not just once or twice but three times before he tossed them down and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Nothing. The files have no mention of him even being out of cyro at that time let alone him being anywhere near her."

"So the question is, is he telling the truth or just screwing with her?" Banner asked.

"I really don't care, I just want to see whether or not she ends up beating the shit out of him!" Tony crowed.

"I too would like to see the maiden injure the captive. Perhaps we can make wagers on whether or not she will?" Thor suggested.

Tony immediately jumped on the idea while the others refocused on the screen.

"I knew part of the Widow job description even before they told me because of what you were called. Black Widow. Of course sex was involved."

Natasha fingers twitched on the wooden chair rung.

Barnes acted as though he didn't notice her agitation. "I heard stories about you before I actually met you. Not from your targets of course but from your handlers. They said you were very vocal when you they monitored your interactions."

"And what does that have to do with you knowing things about me that no one else does?" Natasha seethed. She wasn't mad that he knew that part of her past. Hell, all her Avengers teammates and every government that had read her released files knew that she'd used her body to complete missions. No, she was pissed he was throwing it in her face in the middle of her own home.

He must have seen something in her expression because he stopped, one dark eyebrow raised. "You misunderstand me. I am not judging you Natalia. I'm merely pointing out that I know the difference."

Natasha closed her eyes, his words provoking something. A lost memory resurfacing? An image of her own overworked mind? She didn't know but suddenly she wanted to. "Continue James."

She hadn't meant to call him that but his proper name just felt right falling from her lips. And that made her realize that whatever he was about to say was the truth. They'd met before he'd shot through her in Odessa.

He finally smiled a slow, sly, real smile. "That's how I know I wasn't a mission."

 _Natalia was twenty years old, according to her best guess. Birthdays weren't really celebrated when you'd spent your life training to be an assassin._

 _Now, after graduating from the Academy years before, she had been asked to train a new batch of little Widows. Only she wouldn't be doing it alone._

 _His name was James. That's all she knew about him, all he seemed to know about himself. And with his dark hair, haunted eyes, and metal arm he was someone Natalia found very tempting._

 _Only she didn't immediately set out to seduce him. Maybe because, when he wasn't training or fighting he was stoic and contemplative. So instead she got to know him. Or at least she got to know him as well as you could know someone who couldn't even remember his own last name._

 _And then it turned physical._

 _He wasn't her first, not by a long shot, but he was the first she actually cared about. The first she didn't have to pretend with._

 _He told her he'd never forget the sounds she made when they came together. The breathy gasps she took as he brought her close and the way she groaned his name when she tightened around him._

 _Then one day her handlers pulled her into a room and when she came out she had to be reintroduced to James all over again because he'd been erased from her memories._

 _He didn't stay at the Academy for long after that._

The chair finally snapped under the pressure of Natasha's grip. "They wiped my memory. Didn't they do the same to you?"

James's voice was rough when he finally answered. "They did. Sixteen hours and thirty-five minutes after they did it to you. They wanted to punish me further, allowing me to remember you when you clearly didn't remember me."

Natasha slumped against the small table. "I know how you remember but how is it possible that I could picture everything you just told me like they were my own memories."

"It's because Wanda has used her powers on you before, she's already touched your thoughts and memories. That makes it easier for you to access them yourself. At least that's what I think she said. Between her accent and the psychological terms I didn't exactly understand it all."

Natasha laughed. She couldn't keep her eyes off him, her recovered memories telling her this man right in front of her was the only man she'd ever wanted to make plans with. It was a strange feeling, to suddenly have something so big, so important returned to her. Something she hadn't even known she'd lost.

"Rogers, I need you to come down here and release him from this chair. And don't think too hard about what you just heard," she addressed the cameras and then looked at Barnes. "He's squeamish about naughty things."

Barnes snorted. "Oh I remember."

When Steve Rogers, blushing cherry red, strode through the room neither Natasha or James could hold in their snorts of laughter.

It wasn't until he was about to leave that Steve even looked directly at them. "You know what? This makes sense. And I'm glad you're back Bucky. Just never let me hear about your sex life ever again. Captain's orders."


End file.
